![]() ![]() "My last name is James, my husband's is Fitzgerald, and our child's is Fitzjames," says one Bab圜enter mom. Pros: One way to get around hyphens yet honor both parents is to create a new name from both parents' last names.This is the norm in many Spanish-speaking countries, where kids get one last name from each parent. If you don't like hyphens but still want to use both names, your child can simply have two last names. Some names lend themselves well to hyphenation while others don't. So when I'd go in for an appointment somewhere, I had to give three different last names to look under," says one Bab圜enter mom who grew up with a hyphenated name.īut the biggest disadvantage of this option may be the potential length of these double names. "A lot of places would automatically file my records under the last name of whichever parent I was with at the time. Cons: Hyphenated last names can also lead to administrative hassles."It represents to our families and the rest of the world that we're all connected." "As a same-sex couple, we thought it was important for our daughter to have both our names, so her last name is hyphenated," says one Bab圜enter mom. Some parents feel this solution is the best of both worlds. Pros: Two percent of families in the Bab圜enter survey gave their child both parents' last names, either linked with a hyphen or not.In some cases, if a baby gets the mom's last name, relatives on her partner's side may be surprised and upset that their family name isn't being passed on. In the end, they relented but said to carry birth certificates next time." "My wife wasn't with us, and they almost didn't let us on the plane. "We ran into trouble when we were traveling overseas," says Jochen Wachter, who has a different last name than his wife and two children. Cons: Having a different last name from the rest of the family has the same disadvantages for partners as for moms – both can feel left out, and it sometimes leads to inconvenient situations.He may eventually disappear from our lives altogether." Her father and I are completely apart now, and he rarely sees her. As one Bab圜enter mom says, "I have no regrets about giving my daughter my last name. "I'm Caucasian and she's Korean, and it makes sense to us that our child have a Korean last name so that she can more easily connect with her Korean identity."Īnother common reason for giving the baby her mother's last name is if the other parent isn't involved in parenting. "Our baby will be taking my wife's last name," says one expecting Bab圜enter dad. Pros: Although this arrangement is much less common (4 percent of families, according to Bab圜enter's survey), it's a good choice if sharing a name with the kids is more important to the mother than to her partner, or if she wants to encourage the child to identify with her heritage."The only time my different last name causes problems is when I fly alone with the kids, though this is easily solved with a notarized letter," says one Bab圜enter mom. ![]() There are also logistical problems to consider: In our high-security times, having different last names can cause travel snafus. This can depend on where you live: In some areas, no one bats an eye if Mom doesn't share a last name with her kids. Others grow weary of the additional explanations often required. "I'm kind of the tagalong with a different name," says one Bab圜enter mom. Cons: Half of moms with a different last name than their child and partner say they're not entirely happy with this arrangement because they feel left out."So this was a way to give him a gift without betraying my wish to keep my own name." "It was very important to my husband to share a name with our kids, but I really didn't care," says Kerri Patrick, mother of two. For half of them, it works out just fine. Pros: According to a Bab圜enter survey, 18 percent of today's moms have a last name that's different from their partners and children. ![]() We've listed some here, along with their pros and cons. Luckily, there are several good alternatives to consider. Deciding which last name to give your child can be a tough choice, especially if you and your partner don't share a family name. ![]()
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